WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning turn of progressive policy gymnastics, the Democratic National Committee has reversed its earlier decision to nullify activist David Hogg’s recent leadership victory after Hogg identified as a woman, retroactively fulfilling the DNC’s gender diversity quota.
The reversal came just hours after his initial win was thrown out on procedural grounds. The problem? Too many cisgender men on the committee — a violation of the DNC’s mandatory Progressive Optics & Inclusivity Matrix™.
Faced with losing his hard-earned position, Hogg responded decisively. “I’ve reflected deeply for 37 seconds,” he said in a press statement tweeted from a hammock. “As of right now, my gender identity is ‘fluid-feminine adjacent with lived experience.’ I look forward to serving my community — and myself.”
DNC Chairperson Patrice Genderé praised the decision. “We are thrilled to welcome Davida Hogg to leadership. Her journey represents everything the modern Democratic Party stands for: flexibility, self-expression, and quick paperwork turnaround.”
In celebration of his—sorry, her—reinstatement, Hogg announced plans to host a TikTok series titled Gun Control & Girlbossing, followed by a fundraising gala themed Yas Queen Caucus
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