VATICAN CITY — In a revelation that has sent shockwaves through brunch tables and comment sections worldwide, Pope Leo XIV…
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Crumbl Acquires Deseret Book, Plans Rebrand to “Dessert Book”
LEHI, UT — In a bold fusion of frosting and faith, Crumbl Cookies announced today it has acquired Deseret Book,…
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LDS Church Strikes Deal with Fairview, Texas: Baptismal Oxen Replaced with Longhorns to Win Temple Permit
FAIRVIEW, TX — In a holy merger of revelation and rural zoning, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints…
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Blazers, Beards, and the Ballot: Utah Retailers Ready for Republican Convention Rush
SALT LAKE CITY — As Utah gears up for its annual Republican Convention tomorrow, local retailers like Kohl’s, Dillard’s, and…
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Utah RINOs Poop Pants, Start Gathering Signatures to Stay in the Party
OREM, UT – With the Utah GOP convention just days away, Democrat Republicans, known in the wild as RINOs, are…
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Bugged: Mormon Crickets Reject Name as Offensive and Inaccurate
Fillmore, Utah – As they invade Fillmore, Utah, the infamous “Mormon Crickets” are demanding your respect and understanding as they…
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BREAKING 🚨: LDS Church Confirms Herbal Coffee to Join Herbal Tea as Word of Wisdom-Compliant Hot Drink
SALT LAKE CITY, UT — The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints announced today that herbal coffee is now…
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BYU Rebrands as “West Harvard,” Shocks No One Except Actual Harvard
PROVO, UT — In a move that surprised exactly zero Utahns and confused the rest of the country, Brigham Young…
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Endangered: Preservation Utah Says “Preserve First” and “Wait, What Is This Place? Later”
In an ambitious push to preserve anything with four walls and a vague sense of age, Preservation Utah has announced…
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Amidst the Influx of Refugees, Utah’s Animal Shelters Add New Questions to the Adoption Pre-Screening
In a bold attempt to home their furry friends while avoiding any… misunderstandings… with a massive influx of new refugees,…
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