White House Names Aaron Sherinian to Replace Karoline Leavitt as Press Secretary, Tapping LDS Church’s Top Communications Official

WASHINGTON — The White House announced Wednesday that Aaron Sherinian, the LDS Church’s top communications official, will replace Karoline Leavitt as press secretary.

“Frankly, the Mormons are very good at messaging,” Trump reportedly told aides. “They’ve got missionaries everywhere. Nobody does distribution like these people.”

White House reporters were informed that future briefings will begin with an opening hymn, followed by announcements and a carefully correlated 22-minute statement.

Reporters will still be allowed to ask questions, but Sherinian is expected to encourage them to prayerfully consider the issue and seek their own answer before following up.

The appointment sent evangelical commentators into immediate panic, with several reportedly shouting “Galatians 1:8!” on live television and organizers already announcing a nationwide “1:8 Protest” outside the White House.

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