Salt Lake City — Authorities confirmed Tuesday they are investigating a reported breach at the LDS Church’s Granite Mountain Records Vault after five pallets of emergency Jell-O were allegedly stolen. The vault, carved deep into Little Cottonwood Canyon, is famed for its climate-controlled preservation of genealogical records and other “sensitive materials.”
Church officials reassured members that all historical items remain safe, noting that “nothing of religious significance was touched.” Questions about the seer stone, the Sword of Laban, or the Urim and Thummim were dismissed as “outside the scope of this incident.”
Investigators declined to explain why thousands of boxes of Jell-O were kept under nuclear-proof conditions, though one source described it as “a critical component of the Church’s long-term food storage strategy.”
