FAIRVIEW, TX — In a stunning display of architectural obedience and divine flexibility, the LDS Church has released final renderings for the long-awaited Fairview Texas Temple—now featuring a steeple that boldly rises toward heaven before making a sudden, legally mandated 90-degree turn.
“We received clear revelation,” said one Church spokesperson, “from the city zoning office.”
The original design featured a steeple that dared to stretch to the heavens (or at least 150 feet), but city officials raised concerns that it might interfere with local flight paths, egos, or the town’s delicate height symmetry. To comply with the 120-foot restriction, Church architects have graciously redesigned the spire to ascend 119 feet, then extend horizontally like a spiritual diving board.
“It still points to heaven,” said one local member. “It just takes the scenic route.”
City planners praised the revised design, calling it “a victory for community standards and right angles.” Church members, meanwhile, are reportedly excited for the new steeple’s shade-giving potential and its rumored compatibility with future zipline activities for Mutual.
As of press time, Fairview city council was considering a new ordinance capping celestial glory at 118 feet, just to be safe.
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