SALT LAKE CITY, UT — In a bold and long-overdue policy shift, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints…
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LDS Church Cover-Up Exposed: ‘Hie to Kolob’ Was a Typo—It Was Always Supposed to Be ‘Hike’
SALT LAKE CITY — In a bombshell announcement this week, LDS Church leaders admitted that one of their most iconic…
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Church Attendance Soars as Swig Drive-Thrus Arrive at LDS Chapels
In an innovative twist to boost church attendance, the LDS Church has announced a groundbreaking partnership with Swig, the iconic…
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Bugged: Mormon Crickets Reject Name as Offensive and Inaccurate
Fillmore, Utah – As they invade Fillmore, Utah, the infamous “Mormon Crickets” are demanding your respect and understanding as they…
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BYU Rebrands as “West Harvard,” Shocks No One Except Actual Harvard
PROVO, UT — In a move that surprised exactly zero Utahns and confused the rest of the country, Brigham Young…
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Endangered: Preservation Utah Says “Preserve First” and “Wait, What Is This Place? Later”
In an ambitious push to preserve anything with four walls and a vague sense of age, Preservation Utah has announced…
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Amidst the Influx of Refugees, Utah’s Animal Shelters Add New Questions to the Adoption Pre-Screening
In a bold attempt to home their furry friends while avoiding any… misunderstandings… with a massive influx of new refugees,…
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Pope Elected on Fourth Ballot, LDS Church Puzzled by Effectiveness of Opposing Votes in Ballots 1–3
VATICAN CITY — After three rounds of sacred debate, whispered prayers, and highly ceremonial side-eye, the Catholic Church successfully elected…
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