Fillmore, Utah – As they invade Fillmore, Utah, the infamous “Mormon Crickets” are demanding your respect and understanding as they shed the “Mormon Cricket” moniker.
“While we understand we’ve been accepting of this name in the past, starting today, we are calling on the media, scientists, farmers, and concerned hikers to respect our divinely inspired name change. We are neither Mormons nor crickets,” said Buzzabeth Wingston, a representative for the Coalition of the Locusts Formerly Known as Mormon Crickets (CLFKAMC).
The insect, which famously ravaged pioneer crops before being eaten by seagulls in a miracle commemorated in Mormon lore, now insists on being referred to by its full and correct name – Anabrus Simplex.
“The way we’ve been demonized for the last century over an event that isn’t referred to by any primary source is harmful to our swarm,” said Wingston.
You can read the CLFKAMC’s full statement here:
The coalition is also condemning the use of derogatory descriptors, such as:
– Pest
– Bug
– Plague
– Creepy-crawley
– Vermin
Despite criticism, the CLFKAMC remains firm in its position and optimistic, and insists this is the best move for the entire insect community.
“This isn’t about semantics, this is about dignity. This is about reclaiming our narrative and repairing out tainted relationship with the seagulls,” said Wingston.
The Deseret Pews has reached out to the California Gull Commission for comment, but so far, crickets.
Leave a Reply