SALT LAKE CITY – A group of self-declared ‘animal parents’ applied to be recognized under the LGBTQIA+ umbrella by adding PAW to the LGBTQIA+.
“We prefer that ‘PAW’ comes before ‘Queers’, but we’ll take what we can get,” said one member of the animal parent group.
However, Salt Lake City Pride has been forced to finally draw a hard line in the ever-shifting sands of their inclusivity.
“We’re inclusive, but we’re not insane,” said a Pride delegate.
The group of animal parents argued that raising animals instead of children is a marginalized identity. Their ‘pet’ition included a request for inclusion on the Pride flag.
Pride organizers declined the request.
In response, the animal parent group has vowed to launch their own parade: PIRDE – Pet Identity Representation & Diversity Empowerment.
Until then, PIRDE organizers say they’ll have to do what they’ve always done:
Hijack Mother’s and Father’s Day and angrily draw parallels between crate training and potty training, teaching to fetch and teaching to read, and annual vet visits and pediatric checkups.
