OREM, UT – With the Utah GOP convention just days away, Democrat Republicans, known in the wild as RINOs, are…
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Endangered: Preservation Utah Says “Preserve First” and “Wait, What Is This Place? Later”
In an ambitious push to preserve anything with four walls and a vague sense of age, Preservation Utah has announced…
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LDS Church Strikes Deal with Fairview, Texas: Baptismal Oxen Replaced with Longhorns to Win Temple Permit
FAIRVIEW, TX — In a holy merger of revelation and rural zoning, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints…
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BYU Rebrands as “West Harvard,” Shocks No One Except Actual Harvard
PROVO, UT — In a move that surprised exactly zero Utahns and confused the rest of the country, Brigham Young…
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Sleepy Blake Moore Does His Best Impression of Utah Voters and Falls Asleep While on the Job
Washington DC — In a powerful tribute to his base, Utah Rep. Blake Moore was caught on live TV doing…
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DNC Panel Reverses David Hogg’s Victory Nullification, Reinstating Him After He Puts on Bra
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning turn of progressive policy gymnastics, the Democratic National Committee has reversed its earlier decision…
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Crumbl Acquires Deseret Book, Plans Rebrand to “Dessert Book”
LEHI, UT — In a bold fusion of frosting and faith, Crumbl Cookies announced today it has acquired Deseret Book,…
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LDS Church’s Ensign Fund Goes All-In with $100 Billion to Defend Lego Joseph Smith (@Mormonger) in IP Lawsuit Brought by The LEGO Group
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Jazz Tank Job Tanks: With Fifth Pick and Flagg Long Gone, Utah Settles on 7-Foot White Guy Who Sets Great Screens
SALT LAKE CITY, UT — After a season of “strategic player development” (read: losing on purpose), the Utah Jazz secured…
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Pope Elected on Fourth Ballot, LDS Church Puzzled by Effectiveness of Opposing Votes in Ballots 1–3
VATICAN CITY — After three rounds of sacred debate, whispered prayers, and highly ceremonial side-eye, the Catholic Church successfully elected…
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