Salt Lake City, UT — In what some are calling a “miraculous innovation” and others are calling “light pharmaceutical apostasy,”…
Read More
Housing Hell in Heaven: Entry Now Requires Inflated Spiritual Credit Score
CELESTIAL KINGDOM — The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints confirmed this week that, with spiritual housing prices on…
Read More
EXCLUSIVE: The REAL Lives of Zion’s Stay-at-Home Celestial Queens
Forget the matching aprons, Pinterest-perfect chore charts, and homemade wheat bread. Secret Lives of Mormon Wives got it all wrong.…
Read More
To Secure BYU NIL Supremacy, LDS Church Clarifies Tithing on Gross Income, Not Net, as Commandment
In a stunning doctrinal clarification unveiled this week, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has officially declared that…
Read More
LDS Church Employees No Longer Required to Pay Tithing: ‘It’s Spiritual Double Taxation’
SALT LAKE CITY, UT — In a bold and long-overdue policy shift, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints…
Read More
LDS Church Cover-Up Exposed: ‘Hie to Kolob’ Was a Typo—It Was Always Supposed to Be ‘Hike’
SALT LAKE CITY — In a bombshell announcement this week, LDS Church leaders admitted that one of their most iconic…
Read More
Church Attendance Soars as Swig Drive-Thrus Arrive at LDS Chapels
In an innovative twist to boost church attendance, the LDS Church has announced a groundbreaking partnership with Swig, the iconic…
Read More
LDS Church Strikes Deal with Fairview, Texas: Baptismal Oxen Replaced with Longhorns to Win Temple Permit
FAIRVIEW, TX — In a holy merger of revelation and rural zoning, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints…
Read More
Bugged: Mormon Crickets Reject Name as Offensive and Inaccurate
Fillmore, Utah – As they invade Fillmore, Utah, the infamous “Mormon Crickets” are demanding your respect and understanding as they…
Read More
BREAKING 🚨: LDS Church Confirms Herbal Coffee to Join Herbal Tea as Word of Wisdom-Compliant Hot Drink
SALT LAKE CITY, UT — The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints announced today that herbal coffee is now…
Read More
