KAMPALA, UGANDA — In what Church leaders are calling a “historic milestone of faith,” over 1,800 new converts across several African nations have begun tithing with joyful hearts and unmatched enthusiasm — blissfully unaware that they are walking directly into the single most quietly divisive issue in modern Latter-day Saint finance: gross vs. net.
The converts, described by missionaries as “spiritually on fire and extremely generous,” have reportedly been contributing 10% of something — no one is entirely sure what — with zero complaints, endless smiles, and absolutely no spreadsheets.
“Their faith is incredible,” said Elder McBride, a senior missionary serving in Kenya. “They’re not asking about tax brackets, pre-tax employer contributions, or 401(k) matching. They’re just giving. It’s… unsettling.”
Meanwhile, longtime Utah members have expressed both admiration and mild horror.
“I’ve spent 15 years seeking divine confirmation that I can tithe on net and still enter the Celestial Kingdom,” said Brother Todd Ellsworth of Bountiful. “These saints are out here giving freely without even so much as a deduction calculator. Honestly, it’s inspiring. And deeply stressful.”
Church finance officials say the African Saints’ simple approach to tithing has thrown off global statistics, creating what one analyst called a “pureness spike” on the quarterly donor sanctification chart.
When asked about the gross vs. net debate, one Ugandan branch president responded, “We just tithe on what we receive. Is there… more?”
Church headquarters has yet to clarify if a First Presidency letter will be issued, but rumors are swirling that the topic may be addressed at General Conference under the working title: “Ye Shall Offer a Tenth—But From Where Exactly?”
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