34-year-old Brian Halverson set a new personal record of purity by maintaining continuous eye contact with the ceiling for 47 minutes during his chest and tris workout at a local Vasa.
Brian says he made the goal a few months ago when a young woman in a Gym Reapers ‘strategy bra’ and ‘booty lift leggings’ told him that he gave her the “ick” for glancing in her direction mid-lunge.
“I’m not judging. I respect women so much that I refuse to look at them now. Especially not mid-hip-thrust or squat,” Brian said, neck still craned upward.
To alleviate the temptation for men like Brian, some gyms now offer welding goggle rentals for $1/hour, allowing women to flaunt their bodies like modern-day gym-going Jezebels while shielding them from the vile male gaze.
“We’re working hard to manage the male gaze,” said fitness manager Karla Densmore. “The goal is simple: stop seeing, start empowering, and ignore any sense of attraction. That’s where the goggles come in. 0% peripheral vision, and it’s a great way for women to know which men are their allies.”
Many women at the gym have voiced support.
“It’s honestly so empowering,” said Kelsey, 26, turning the ring light of her phone on and yanking her scrunched leggings 6 inches up her butt crack before going LIVE on Instagram for her 43k male followers. “I’m here to work out, not for men to ogle.”
Jess from Zumba said she appreciates Brian’s dedication. “He walked into a rowing machine because he wouldn’t look down from the fluorescent lights. That’s true masculinity.”
Brian remains humble.
“At the end of the day, I just want everyone else to feel comfortable, even if I’m not. When my neck starts to hurt or my eyes begin to drift downward mid-deadlift, I just repeat my mantra: ‘EYES ON GOD, NOT GLUTES.’”
Brian says he hopes to break his 47-minute record soon and says, if his neck gives out, he’ll take a pair of dumbbells into one of the men’s bathroom stalls to finish his workout and avoid any uncomfortable situations.
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